meandering creativity, symbols and emotion

Friday, April 9, 2010

Reflections on Not Sleeping

A few minor (but irritating) health issues have prevented me from getting decent sleep. On a normal week Lara and I are usually in bed and asleep by eleven. After several weeks of only four hours of nightly sleep, I'm operating in slow motion. I should also mention, I have been extolled to refrain from any home remedies I would normally use in these situations (i.e. I can't drink coffee in the morning or bourbon at night).

I enjoy the feeling on some level because it reminds me of being young in college; it was an entertaining time. But when I'm in slow motion I am not functioning well. I do not get all my work done and I am grouchy: this morning I yelled at a coworker to stop f*cking with me.

But I am a fortunate man. My wife has had sleep issues in the past; she knows what it is like to operate in slow motion. This morning as I lay in bed craving more sleep she gently prodded me out of bed. I am extremely grateful for this on several levels. Her help is always welcome but it is the kindness she employs that makes it bearable.

There are a lot of factors that make a marriage work or not work. I will not suppose I know any sort of secret or have any sort of wisdom. But... there has to be something to this idea of kindness.

The more married couples I meet the more I find that often times after a few years they end up treating their friends better than they treat each other. I'm not quite naive enough to assume that marriage is all about being happy, nor proud enough to imagine I don't ever mistreat my wife. Still I never quite understood why people who clearly don't like each other choose to stay miserable.

So I am struck how simple kindness seems to open of doors of possibility for Lara and me. The pursuit of dreams, the freedom to be who we are and mutual respect contribute to keeping our marriage commitment healthy. But kindness is the special sauce that makes it a joy!

1 comment:

  1. Enjoyed this one. I agree on the importance of kindness.

    Sorry about the lack of sleeping. That can really start to take its toll.